BARBERS QUOTES II

quotations about barbers

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A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional. He can do all this, and then stuff the customer's mouth with a soap-brush, and leave him while he goes to the other end of the shop to make a side bet with one of the other barbers on the outcome of the Autumn Handicap.

STEPHEN LEACOCK

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In the barber-shops they knew the result of the Jeffries-Johnson prize-fight long before it happened. It is on information of this kind that they make their living. The performance of shaving is only incidental to it.... To the barber the outside world is made up of customers, who are to be thrown into chairs, strapped, manacled, gagged with soap, and then given such necessary information on the athletic events of the moment as will carry them through the business hours of the day without open disgrace.

STEPHEN LEACOCK

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And the barber kept on shaving.

JAMES T. FIELDS

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My master preaches patience to him and the while
His man with scissors nicks him like a fool.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

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Well, when you get a haircut, you'd better go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
'Cause you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair

RAY STEVENS

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When I awoke I was locked in the barber's shop
Trapped in the barber's chair
Oh no, they're gonna try and cut my hair
But that can't stop the Prophet

JERU THE DAMAJA

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He kept a shop in London Town
Of fancy clients and good renown
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their maker impeccably shaved
By Sweeney
By Sweeney Todd
The demon barber of Fleet street

STEPHEN SONDHEIM

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It's Saturday, don't stop, just left the barber shop
Fresh fade, geared up, just got my car washed
Music up, windows down, rims on, bling-bling

KOFFEE BROWN

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A prating Barber asked him how he would be trimmed. He answered, "In Silence."

PLUTARCH

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One barber shaves not so close but another finds work.

THOMAS FULLER

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Our courteous Antony ...
Being barber'd ten times o'er, goes to the feast.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

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Every barber thinks you need a haircut.

MIKE MANN

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A jobless barber shall learn new hairstyles.

P.S. JAGADEESH KUMAR

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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

JEFF FOXWORTHY

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A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Four. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Six. The man leaves, and the barber says to another, "Follow that man!" The man comes back and says, "He goes to your house!"

HENNY YOUNGMAN

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In the better barber shops everything is sterilized but the conversation.

EVAN ESAR

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With odorous oil thy head and hair are sleek;
And then thou kemb'st the tuzzes on thy cheek:
Of these, my barbers take a costly care.

PERSIUS

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Is this a barbershop? Is this a barbershop? If we can't talk straight in a barbershop, then where can we talk straight?

MARK BROWN

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When one barber cuts another barber's hair, which one does the talking?

EVAN ESAR

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Yeah, I did painting to a certain extent, nothing too serious. I would just draw a lot. I was always known for drawing on jean jackets back in the day, and people would pay me to create designs and stuff. Coming off that, the whole barbering thing was another art form to me, and I fell in love with it, you know? Just like with my art, I was able to channel what was going on in my head to my hands.

JOHNNY CAKE

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