FRAN LEBOWITZ QUOTES
American author (1950- )
That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
The Fran Lebowitz Reader
There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Index Magazine, 1997
My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
attributed, Meat: A Love Story
There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Index Magazine, 1997
One year when I was pretty young, maybe seven or eight, I insisted on going [trick-or-treating] as Humpty Dumpty, which was this very elaborate, really unwieldy costume that I designed.... Thousands of pillows. And my father, he was an upholsterer, he made the cover for this, which covered like ... I was a sofa. I was a small sofa. Except without nails or tacks. I remember that Halloween the most because it was the worst. Even as a child, I remember the worst things, as opposed to the best things. Every single house I went to, out of a thousand houses, the mother of the house had to completely reconstruct my ... restuff me. All the pillows were falling out, it was raining, and because I was a very -- I don't know how to put this -- kind of a dictator as a child, it meant that every time I stopped in the street to restuff myself, one thousand children that were following me also had to stop, even though they were wearing much more sensible costumes. That is my most memorable Halloween memory. That was the last time I was a fashion victim.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Index Magazine, 1997
London -- a place you go to get bronchitis.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
attributed, Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions
I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
The Paris Review, summer 1993
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Metropolitan Life
Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Paper Magazine, September 17, 2014
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Metropolitan Life
A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
The Fran Lebowitz Reader
I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
The Paris Review, summer 1993
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Social Studies
I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
The Paris Review, summer 1993
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Metropolitan Life
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Metropolitan Life
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Metropolitan Life
Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Paper Magazine, September 17, 2014
I happen to love a good run almost as much as sex. Like sex, there are often times I don't think I'm interested until I'm into it. Unlike sex, I do have to get out of bed and into the elements. I hate leaving bed.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Tales From A Broad: An Unreliable Memoir
Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It's my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they're apparently also not good enough to be shorter.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
interview, Ruminator Magazine, August/September 2005