psychologist & author (1944- )
You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
HARRIET LERNER
Twitter post, February 19, 2014
While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook," "snare," or "catch" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to "male culture," our ability to please men, and our readiness to conform to the masculine values of our institutions.
HARRIET LERNER
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
HARRIET LERNER
Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up
If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough.
HARRIET LERNER
"Returning To Your Wedding Vows", Huffington Post, April 2, 2012
Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done.
HARRIET LERNER
Twitter post, May 17, 2014
When anxiety disrupts functioning, it's psychiatric illness.
HARRIET LERNER
Twitter post, December 6, 2014
I've yet to meet the person who aspires to be phony or invisible in her closest relationships.
HARRIET LERNER
The Dance of Connection